Count to twenty for the clarity, courage, and change to live for you.

ve been feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and isolated lately, the idea of finding fulfillment and balance may seem like ‘just another thing you have to do.’ We dream for the before/after Christmas miracle that will slice a clear dividing line between the ‘old’ us—overwhelmed, anxious, and isolated—and the new us, freed from unreasonable expectations. 

😫I need a sabbatical. I want to go on a retreat. I If only I had my “On Walden Pond” Summer era, then I could breathe. Give me a week in a hotel room with no noise. Send me to India to learn Kundalini Yoga and I swear I’ll come back as a changed woman. I’d do anything to Eat. Pray. Love. myself into a new reality. 🫠

While I honor that fantasy, if you can’t see past the next thing on your Asana board, it may feel like The Hustle is all you’ll ever know unless you do something radical and disruptive. ( And just where-oh-where is that bandwidth going to come from? 😬)

Every act of personal growth does not require us to crawl through the glass.  

I have good news. In my work as a Business-Life Alignment Coach, I’ve discovered many little things you can do that take minimal bandwidth and willpower. It doesn’t have to be all-self-improvement-all-day; sometimes it’s as easy as counting to twenty. 

Microdose Affirming Ideas
Take 20 ccs of Self-Belief to Reclaim Your Time and Your Life

☝️ Decide to make a list.
✌️ Identify 20 things you like about yourself, from the magical to the mundane.
🤟Rinse & repeat as needed. 

Why does this work? 

Our words have meaning. If you tell yourself—and others—that you’re just overwhelmed, anxious, and/or isolated, that will be your reality. Now, I am not suggesting that it’s as simple as making a decision…or maybe I am. Because once you decide that those states of being & mind are intolerable, you will then decide to turn it around. 

Don’t believe me? Spend a whole day really tapping into feeling grateful for the life you get to create and I promise you’ll soon find yourself dialing back “reactive mode.”

I stand on the idea that we can find fulfillment when we deeply understand and appreciate our unique gifts, zones of genius, and core values. For when we do, decluttering our roles & responsibilities and holding our boundaries as sacred is easy, peasy, lemon-squeezy. 

Noooowwww we can create the life we want—instead of reacting to the one we have.

So, let’s start with the first part. Make a list of twenty awesome things about you. What makes you special, different, or The One? Maybe it’s your unique perspective, or your x-ray vision for problem-solving, or the way you make a mean banana bread/raise a puppy/make dinner reservations—how are you the freakin’ best or very cool? Are you kind? Good with money? A great driver? Do you love your hair or the color of your eyes or the way you move about the world? Are you an awesome dog-mom or a friendly face on the block? Shout out your awesomeness on a list that’s for you and only for you. 

The first five are a throw-away. 

Dig in. The first few are just a warm-up. Be your own best friend, your number one hype-woman, your Buzz Lightyear. What would they say about you? Can we get personal? What makes you uniquely awesome? 

Why is it hard work?

If the lift here feels overwhelming or daunting, there’s a reason for that. Any woman socialized in the Western world has been hammered with the belief that a woman’s worth is in service to others. There is no higher calling, no more rewarding path to fulfillment, no more enriching journey than to sacrifice everything for family and business.

What’s more, there is  l-i-t-e-r-a-l-l-y  no way to be a woman and gain everyone’s approval. In every aspect of our lives, you are damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

It’s no wonder so many of us walk around overburdened by all of the unrealistic expectations and ambiguous boundaries, internalizing fear and chasing perfectionism. 

Bullshit.

In order to thrive in this mad, mad world go all in on radical self-acceptance and self-compassion. And the key to that goodness is awareness. When we know who the f’ we are, anything other than that becomes intolerable. 

Change is good – don’t fight it. It’s wwaaaaayyyy better than things staying exactly as they are—and/or getting worse. If social conditioning, internalized/externalized BS, or low-self worth are keeping you down, be a dear and blow some smoke up your own skirt. 

Once you get clear on things like your unique gifts, zones of genius, and core values, you start to prioritize them.

In my experience, radical self-acceptance is the only sustainable way to prevent perfection paralysis, overachieving overload, and a life woefully out of alignment. Strengthen your self-belief and optimize the power of the things you value—for it is always better to iterate than to tolerate. 

And if you’ve lost touch with who you really are, start a list and count to twenty.