Feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and isolated and craving change? Join the club. We are business leaders and founders, heads of household and default problem-solvers, best friends and bosses — in other words, high-performing women who get it done. And more often than not, we are exhausted. 

If you’re anything like me, you’ve continued to exceed expectations of everyone around you by being driven and tenacious. There is no company you can’t command, no project you can’t overdeliver, no idea that has been unfigure-out-able. 

Your friends and family don’t know how you do it and neither do you. 

Maybe it feels like you don’t have a choice. If we don’t, who will? If not us, will it even happen? Or maybe you’ve got a bad case of “I’m the only one.” You have grand intentions of keeping all of those balls in the air, but massively underestimate your own bandwidth. 

Even if you’ve always been able to dig deeper, gathering your last remaining shreds of resourcefulness, there is always a cost. 

If all you can think about is a time out, burnout is looming. 

Let’s head that oppressive opportunity-stealer off at the pass. When your body starts to complain, when your mind starts to toggle between panic mode and disassociation, when you’re ready to burn your business dreams to the ground, you must subtract to add. 

Look, I know advising you to abandon your comfort zone to confront burnout is a lot to ask. When all you want to do is pull the covers up over your head and sleep for weeks—leaving your comfort behind is a lift. 

In order to find fulfillment and balance in your life,
you’re going to have to let go of the fear of what will happen if you don’t. 

Ouch. That is uncomfortable; let’s start by acknowledging that. You’re going to have to get real with yourself. But if you are the kind of woman who dare not stay overwhelmed, anxious, and isolated, rip off the bandaid. 

Belief in yourself, the power of your values, and the strength to manage the unexpected is on the other side of this transformative work. 

Doing the Work of Divine Detachment. Have a heart-to-heart with your fear factors.

What’s got you in your feelings when you think about detaching from your to-do list? Are you afraid of being perceived as a bad boss, a bad mom, a bad friend? Do you believe that if you stopped doing this kind of work you’re good at in lieu of work you really want to do, you wouldn’t have any clients, and will therefore go broke? Are you in panic mode about what others will say if you quit? Get to the root cause of your fear and come to terms with it. 

Make a commitment to drop dead weight. 

Divine detachment is just a decision. Set your mind to clearing the clutter over creating more systems. Embrace the idea of ‘Marie Kondo’ing’ your daily life, keeping only what sparks joy and outsourcing, eliminating, or evolving the rest. 

Audit Your Time

Start tracking what takes your time. Then and only then can you truly decide what is taking the most of your time and energy. If you’re starting to daydream about running away to a Buddhist sanctuary or going into the Witness Protection Program, identify those terrible troublemakers. Now that you know what to look for you can better protect your peace. BONUS! Conversely, now you also know the golden nuggets that make your heart happy. 

Validate | Deciding what to kick to the curb.

Now that you’ve made a promise to yourself, what can you trim without losing anything? What can you delegate? What can you straight up say ‘no’ to? Start making harsher cuts than Tyra Banks on “America’s Next Top Model” to your schedule and TOP PRIORITY tasks. Sometimes it’s as simple as administrative tasks a VA could be doing and sometimes it means shutting down your whole operation and doing something completely different. Make a case for the things before making them a priority and keep asking yourself: How can I make this easier?

Boundaries, lady.

If I had a magic wand, I would bestow the gift of boundary setting for every single member of this club of high-performing women heading for burnout. Clearly defined boundaries help even the most hardcore people pleaser rules to play by. Gone are the days of resentment and remorse; now you can keep it simple. 

Don’t be afraid to try less. More often than not, you actually get more. Because giving up things isn’t giving up; it’s just Divine Detachment, the key to sustainable peace of mind. By simplifying and narrowing down to the things you love, by having the courage to stop reacting to things and creating the quality of life you want, by learning to live by your own rules, you can sidestep burnout.

 Intimate conversations and self-reflection—because you deserve it.